Driving Test:  Relieved, Exhausted

A major source of anxiety over the past month has been the driving test I take every year to confirm I can still drive safely as a Parkie.  Last year the road test lasted three hours, cost me $550, and left me a nervous wreck.   Today I went to a different guy, who charged only $140 and kept me on the road for less than an hour.

I passed and on the train home wrote a sonnet.  Of course.

Once a year, it’s “Pass the Road Test” time.
I need to pass, so I can drive at night,
and early morn, and at rush hour’s prime,
through winter’s storm, and in the dim twilight.
Today the air was milky.  Yellow leaves
fell in lumps and clumps upon the street –
mounds of gold doubloons.  Could I perceive
where curb (avoid!) and road ahead would meet?
For weeks before this test, I was a mess.
Nervous popcorn kernels burst inside,
inside my dreams, my thoughts.  I would obsess
I’d crash the car, be jailed for homicide.
And then the tester said he’d never seen
parallel parking done “so smooth and clean.”

– Bruce Ballard

Note:  I don’t intend to drive forever.  I think that would be irresponsible.  My husband and I plan to sell our house in the suburbs in a year and move back into the city, where I can take the subway to work and neither of us will need a car.

If I were told now, while I’m still living in the suburbs, that I could no longer drive, it would wreak havoc on my life in general and my health in particular.  I’d have to commute to work by taking the train into Manhattan and then riding the subway up to the Bronx.  I’d be spending four to five hours each day commuting, and would lose out on going to the gym or pool frequently.  That’s a major factor in the anxiety I feel when my annual driving test approaches.