You don’t have to answer that; I already know. People have told me, sometimes angrily. For example, in one heated family argument many years ago, a family member snapped, “You don’t have to tell anyone you’re gay. Everyone knows as soon as you come into the room!” I don’t know if my relative was referring to the way I talk or the way I walk, but frankly speaking, it’s the same package.
“Do I Sound Gay?” is also a new documentary that I saw this week with my friend, James Morgan. In it, the protagonist/narrator/director/producer, a gay man named David Thorpe, tries to change how he speaks so he sounds less gay. Which means, more masculine. Which irks me – that if you’re a gay guy and you sound like one, you aren’t fully a man.
Thorpe starts this quest because he just turned 40 and has no boyfriend. He thinks if he sounds less gay when he speaks, he’ll more easily attract a lover. This also irks me and is contradictory. I want a gay boyfriend but I don’t want to sound gay myself.
During the movie, he visits speech therapists and academic researchers who specialize in gayspeak. He also interviews a lot of famous gays about their accents (Don Lemon, David Sedaris, George Takei, Dan Savage), and as the film progresses, he tries his damnedest to stop sounding like a fairy.
Even though I disagreed with the movie’s basic premise, I enjoyed the way it was rather thoroughly researched. Here’s how the academics and speech coaches say gay male speech differs from straight male speech. Gay men:
- elongate their vowels.
- often end phrases? and statements? with rising intonation?
- sound nasal because they don’t use their diaphragm so much.
- tend to speak in a way that makes them sound academically superior or higher class, for example via sophisticated vocabulary.
- pronounce their consonants more distinctly, especially t, k, p at the end of words. Ask a gay guy to use “continent” in a sentence, and the final “t” will practically knock you over.
Dan Savage sums up in one word the obsession many gay men have with trying to look/sound more masculine: misogyny. The movie, by the way, never delves into lesbian speech issues; I wish it had.
A scary segment shows how many Hollywood villains, especially in Disney feature-length cartoons, use gay speech patterns and mannerisms. I’d like to point out that Disney’s evil, creepy, gay-ish villains are often darker in color than the corresponding good guys, thus perpetuating stereotypes that slap the faces of both homosexuals and African Americans.
Do I sound gay? And am I really wearing black lipstick?
As an evil, vicious Valt Disney villain, am I typically darker than the good guy(s)?
Do I sound gay? Am I droll enough for you?
White = good guy. Black (with touches of purple and pink) = evil, violent, vicious, campy.
Do I sound gay? Need I be a touch more flamboyant?
Do I sound gay?
As a gay guy with Parkinson’s disease, I’d like to tell David Thorpe that (1) there are bigger fish to fry, and (2) maybe the thing to change is not how he talks but how society at large judges people on superficial characteristics. Perhaps Thorpe can, through intensive coaching and endless practice, change the way he speaks. But how does that help the high school boy in Indiana/Utah/Kansas/Wisconsin/New Jersey who gets his face bashed in because he sounds like a fag?
The NY Times has a video clip of Thorpe discussing the flick. You’ll find it in the Times’ movie review.
A well-written summary of the film. I recommend that others see it too.
“Bigger fish to fry” indeed….couldn’t agree more.
Sounds good
Where did you get the picture of St Sebastian? That is shocking with the arrow through his throat, just because he sounded gay?
Bits of social and historical perspective as well as film and TV clips of notable gay sounding actors and personalities are peppered in, to little unified effect. Internalized homophobia and its often lifelong effect on the gay male psyche is also addressed, particularly with regard to the candid, conflicted Thorpe.